So last time i wrote in this thing i had a lil bit over 4 weeks left here. now im down to a little bit over two. cassel is leaving in a few hours to go on the trans siberian. weirdddd. we've been talking about this for like ever and now she's actually going. i'm scared for her/excited for her/fml for me. who am i going to hang out with for the next two weeks??? im actually going to have to call people. well i guess its good because i want to hang out with eunice and laura and lafen more. but eunice and laura are going to vladimir on tuesday and i can't go because of stupid Darya's class. which i have been writing a monster paper for. and i havent even started thinking about Vertkin's paper.


ughh... why do i have to leave so soon????? part of me is definitely excited to go home and see everyone but i have a strong feeling that once I get there and am there for like a month ill be like ok now when can i go back to russia? except i won't be able to!!! this is the first time that im going home and expecting to stay there for an extended period of time. ok im just going to repress these feelings until im on the plane. :(.


in other news its been so beautiful out. except of course, for part of the time we were on the boat cruise/final dinner yesterday. it started raining but thats ok. I can't believe all the smolny stuff is over and done with. (well besides the lame academic stuff). i feel like last semester felt so much more final....now i just feel like it has ended and i didnt realize.


so what do I go back to now that my year here is almost up? everything that i have left behind and/or neglected for the last year. family, work, home friends, richmond friends etc etc. im just a lil bit afraid that I've changed too much and i won't have the same connections with those people. I have had a long year full of experiences that none of them have had, and none of them can fully understand. its weirdddd. Althoughhhh im really excited to hang out with my people. and i can't wait to tell all of the bad stories from the past year that i have been saving for a time when they cant ban me from coming back to russia. so that will be fun.


oh st. petersburg...what will i do without you? I was walking with Katie yesterday and we were talking about life etc. just bullshitting pretty much. but one of the main reasons why i love russia so much is because of the ridiculousness of it all. even the hard annoying long lines and stupid uncongeniality is funny and I find myself laughing at it more than getting frustrated with it. I dont know what im goin to do when i go back and everything is so efficient again. For instance, we were on the trolley yesterday and it got stuck on the bridge, which was funny, and then it decided to end its route early because of construction or something making everyone get off at the beginning of nalichnaya. in the US people would so demand their money back. here its just normal, and i was sort of glad we had to get off because it was so nice out.

ps. i love vkontakte. its my new way to listen to music. <333


so much has happened since the last time i wrote here but i dont know how to put it all in a blog post. like i said, we had the end of semester dinner, and we also had the end of semester "awards lunch" at smolny with all the RSL teachers. I'm going to miss them. especially Ludmila Petrovna. she was crazy.

i've also been handing around my survey lately. i still have a bunch more to hand out though unfortunately.

well see you soon NJ (and its people) and almost goodbye to St. P (and its people)